I AM a work in progress….. there’s no question about that! At the age of 67, there’s still MUCH I have to learn, and I become easily overwhelmed these days, with information overload. Whether navigating online, or in a socially distanced safe environment, it’s a strange world we’re living in, and I struggle daily.
My own health challenges, along with dealing with mental health issues, has placed me into a world of self analysis, research, vetting information, and always searching for more good, RELIABLE support.
How do you know who to believe, or WHAT to believe? Where do you go to validate and question your symptoms for diagnosed maladies? Who is YOUR backup support system, when your ‘regular’ crew falls away, due to their own illnesses, challenges, or exposure to Covid? Or are simply just burned out, as well?
I consider myself blessed and privileged to receive most of the help I need to survive. I have the funds to pay for what I need medically (lost a few future years’ worth of income, but I can live within my means NOW), and I recognize EVERY DAY how fortunate I am for that.
I feel immense guilt over that privilege too, having seen first hand how women in crisis struggle to get the help they need, and I do my utmost to give where I can, and pay my tithe in time, ability or money.
But now, for ME ….. what do I self advocate for? Which myriad of illnesses do I pick to learn about, heal myself from, and champion and fund raise for? What about the ‘social’ challenges and traumas I’m trying to heal from…..the ones that create the dark space I sometimes live in, and desperately try to climb out of. Those are the hardest ones for me to work through, heal from, and I pray to God every day for His help. Mental illness (for me) is more crippling than breast cancer, or even Fibro.
My ‘current’ resume of challenges….and all subjects that I will be voicing opinions (and probably rants) about….
- Breast Cancer (currently in remission)
- Fibromyalgia
- Celiac Disease
- Graves Disease
- PTSD
- Anxiety Disorder
- Parental abuse and abandonment
- Widowhood
- Domestic Abuse
- Divorce
- Shelter living
- Bankruptcy
- And more…..so much more.
So how do I heal? By writing. Having a safe space where I can dump all this sh*t that runs amok in my head…empty it onto paper, and have some RAM space to think and work things out. I finally figured out who my ‘audience’ is…who do I FEEL the need to write to – it’s me. It’s been me, all along!
Having the Trauma Counsellor has been the door that opened up for me, and finally I’m in the right space, doing the hard work, with the support I need to succeed.
I’ve built a mighty support system, and planted so many seeds during these past 3 years…and they’re all beginning to bloom. I have hope again, and I know my dream life IS going to happen.
Welcome and join me on this wild journey!!!
Shelley
